A Timely Word

Last week were we speaking about speech. One of the verses I read played a large role in my life this last week.

Last Saturday night (7/13/13) my father called to tell me that my grandmother’s home in Olympia had burned down. She is 88 years old. My father had been living there helping to take care of her. The home was totally destroyed, they both lost everything. The days that followed were incredibly stressful. For 2 days we didn’t even think they had home owners insurance! And when we found out they did we discovered that they were only insured for 4,000$ of personal property. They lost more than that in clothing!

My mother was out of town, so it was just me and my dad in the immediate days that followed. My grandmother came to stay in my home. But it is difficult for her because I have a 3 level home and she can’t do stairs. To make matters worse, my husband had to work long hours this week at work. I’m trying to get college work done as I take 3 classes this summer and my children (probably sensing the stress) have acted out.

Through it all God has spoken to me more this week than I’ve experienced in over a year. I know there are things I am to learn in this trial. On Tuesday I called my mother crying, I just wasn’t coping well with all of the changes and new requirements being placed on me. She emailed me later with words that I know came from the Lord, because He had told me almost the same thing the day before. This brings to mind a Proverb….

“A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!” (Proverbs 15:23)

I so desperately needed a “timely word” and I have been so blessed this week to get multiple ‘timely words’. For example, I also received a newsletter from a ministry I follow. In it were inspiring words that I needed to hear in that very moment.

I have had to lean on God’s strength this week in a way I never have before. There have been days where He gives me only the strength and patience to get through another 5 minutes, and then He gives me more. I’ve been completely dependent upon Him for His mercies and strength. But I also know God has used ‘timely words’ to get me through this difficult week. They have truly been a delight!

Proverbs & Speech

We are talking this week about speech in Proverbs. This topic reminded me of a story I once heard that has had a huge impact on controlling my own speech.

There once was this married couple. The husband was a very smart man. He had lots of degrees and liked to read. He often had great conversations with his wife about politics and current affairs and other deep matters. His wife respected him and she knew he was very brilliant.

The two of them were often invited to parties where the men would sit on one side debating all the current issues going on in the news. But the husband never said anything. He just sat and listened, never adding in his own opinion. And after every party the wife was infuriated. “Why don’t you correct them?” she’d say. “Why don’t you tell them what you think?” He would just shrug his shoulders.

Then one night they were invited to another party. The topic of conversation drifted to a subject that the husband was an expert on. But once again, he just sat and listened. Even when the men had incorrect information, the husband never corrected them. On the way home the wife was madder than she’d ever been. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you share with them all about what you know on that subject?” He looked at her and simply replied…”I already know what I know, I wanted to know what they know.”

When I was younger I really struggled with giving my opinion when it hadn’t been asked for. I thought I had something really important to say. And I wanted people to value my opinion. What I didn’t realize was that I would never be asked my opinion because of how opinionated I was. But over the years this story kept coming back to my mind. I got to watch people I respect holding their tongues and I respected them for that. Then, about 8 years ago or so, a young lady came to work where I worked. She was just like I had been all those years before. Very opinionated. Very brilliant in her own mind and thought everyone should know it. It drove everyone crazy, but I felt foolish. Had I come off like that? I was able to give her more grace than other people gave her, because I realized I had been the same way.

Proverbs talks about the wisdom of holding your tongue…there are many verses but here are two.

“He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is counted prudent.” (17:27, 28)

“He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” (18:13)

 I guess some things we have to learn the hard way. J

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."

I have read chapter 24 in Learning From the Sages: Selected Studies on the Book of Proverbs. Chapter 24 discusses how this verse has been mis-interpreted. I am going to summarize the points made and show the correct interpretation of the verse.

First, to understand this passage we need to remember what the Proverbs were written for. "Wisdom literature was associated with, written for, and promulgated by the King and his administrators, especially his scribes" (pg 286). As we will see below, this verse needs to be read with the King's son in mind or the son of a high ranking court official.

1. The verb "to train" has often been read to mean typical instruction given from a parent to a child.  The Hebrew word here for "train" as a verb is used four other times in the Old Testament in the context of dedicating or initiating the use of buildings which is usually accompanied by a great celebration. It is used eight times as a noun and refers to the cultic initiation of material objects.
          So, there are no biblical examples of the word referring to a person. There are several examples of this in postbiblical Aramaic where it is used "of a high priest, who is inaugurated;  and Isaac, who was initiated into the covenant on the 8th day.Thus, when applied to people, it refers to one "who was initiated and experienced, having duties commensurate with his status... The focus here in not on the process of training but on the resultant responsibility and status of the one initiated." It should be read here to refer to a bestowal of status and responsibility.

2. The word translated "child" should not be understood as a small child. A young man or adult is the better interpretation. This word is often used in the OT, but the age span is so diverse of the people it is referring to that it cannot refer to age. In 1 Sam 4:21 it refers to an infant, in Gen. 41:12 is it used to talk about Joseph when he is 30 years old. If it is not referring to age, what does it mean?
           The word is never used of someone of lowly birth- high status was the point. The word is also used sometimes in a military context, for a military cadet or a soldier with status above the regular troops. The word we translate as "child" is used in Josh. 6:22 of the two spies sent into Jericho. Joshua would not have sent novices. It is also used of the two men that Gideon uses to scout out the Middiantite camp in Judg. 7:10-11. In the military contexts inexperienced children cannot be meant.
           A study of the context of the other occurrences of the word show a strong case that "child" should be "young man". "He is a royal squire who is in the process of being apprenticed in wisdom for taking on royal responsibilities consistent with his status." (pg. 287)

3. "In the way he should go" would be better translated as "according to what is expected". In particular, according to "the office that he will occupy, he is to be "broken-in". (pg. 289).

4. This verse is in a string of verses concerning advice to an adult or young adult male regarding life and conduct. Parental advice doesn't seem to fit the surrounding context.

In conclusion, Proverbs 22:6 is not a promise for parents of a sinless child. It also cannot be used as biblical support for early childhood training. Instead a proper reading would be...

"Bestow upon a young man of royal (or high) status the responsibility according to what is expected in the office that he will occupy, and when he is older, he will not depart from it."

Biblical Discipline

I’ve noticed as I look over the verses regarding discipline that there seems to be two distinct emphases. One is the acceptance of discipline. The other regards self-discipline.

 For example, the following verses emphasize receiving discipline.

 

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” Proverbs 12:1

 

“Stern discipline is for him who forsakes the way; he who hates reproof will die.” Proverbs 15:10

 

“Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” Proverbs 19:20

 

“A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond remedy.”

Proverbs 29:1

 

To accept discipline is wise, to reject it can lead to many bad things, including death. But there is also the aspect of self-discipline.

 

“Poverty and shame will come to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored.” Proverbs 13:18

 “He whose ear listens to the life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.” Proverbs 15:31-32

 

“Apply your heart to discipline, and your ears to words of knowledge.” Proverbs 23:12

 

The verses above suggest we also have to practice self-discipline- not neglecting it but apllying it to our heart.